“Do not think of my Love as old and tarnished, but constantly growing and renewing in its own midst. To this very day, I love you. I simply and truly do.” I still remember how I felt back when I wrote that part. I remember being filled with an overwhelming need to convey what I was feeling then, possibly for fear of the emotions escaping me, rendering me without a memory of that particular instant. And when it comes to you, Beng, I don’t ever want to forget. You are my rock. Always have been, always will be. With you around, I know it can’t be that bad. I know I can make it through whatever. Damn, I swore to keep this mush-free, but I just can’t help it. Now that you’re gone.
They say it’s just one year, that it will simply fleet by, that you’d be back again before I know it. But all I know is I can barely get through the day without stopping in my tracks and clutching my chest at the thought of you being so far away. They say it just takes some getting used to, that I will be alright in no time. But I don’t want to get used to this. I can’t be alright like this. I don’t want us to become just another two people initially parted by distance and time and eventually by our own mutual desistance.
Right now I’m flooded by memories of time spent with you and by reminders of time I could’ve spent with you. I don’t even care to think about other people. On your side or on mine. I’d rather think back on the time when it was just you and me, and everyone else was just instrumental to the story we were weaving together. I’d rather think back on that time when you sang to a crowd of total strangers about dreaming of being in love with me again, at a time when I was with someone new. And that same crowd slowly realizing that you were singing not to them but to someone standing right by the back door. And that someone being me. This way I am assured, even if only in the faintest of my recollections, that I’m still the one for you. Because you’re still the one for me.
And while I've always told you that I’ve never stopped counting our years together, I now feel that it’s time I stopped. For I’ve realized that counting is only for things that are finite. And our love just isn’t so. That being said, I want you to know that I’ve come to a decision. Much like the one I made a few years ago. I’m staying put, at the same time braving it out alone. I can't promise to be right where you left me. After all, time has a way of moving us all in a thousand strange directions. But nevertheless, I'll be awaiting your return. Yes—no matter what it takes, or how long it takes—I’ll be waiting. For my Love will never get old and tarnished, but will keep on growing and renewing in its own midst. For, to this very day, I love you. I simply and truly do.
