This Ain't A Love Letter

Much has been written and said about Love—how it begins, goes, ends, and comes full circle in due time. And being hapless novices falling deep and hard even before realizing so, we inadvertently accept what we are told as gospel truths.

We learn to believe that Love starts with a seemingly innocuous spark, then spreads like wild forest fire, consuming our very beings in such an indescribable rapture. We learn to believe that Love, like everything else, reaches a plateau where we must finally take control of and absolute responsibility for the things we do. We learn to believe that that same plateau must end in a steep precipice, upon which we must decide whether to give up or to fight on. We learn to believe that regardless of our choice, we must suffer tremendously, feeling immense pain and longing as though our souls were about to leave their earthly vessels, never to return. We learn to believe that in the darkness and gloom of the days that would follow, hope eventually springs forth, drops of sunlight trickling down from the roof of the empty cavern that has become of us.

Vivid and precise these accounts may seem to get, they simply pertain to a Love other than Ours; for no matter what they say, only we can tell whether what we have is indeed Love.

Having said all that, I want to let you know that I myself have found myself standing on the edge of that precipice, and I have now come to a decision: I am staying with you. But at the same time I would like you to let go. Of every notion you hold of me. Of every reason you have had for choosing to love me then. Of every memory of my quivering voice and the sweetness of my smile. Of the things I have and have not done for you. Just let it all go. For I am not the same person anymore, and neither are you. Unwittingly, we have both been transformed by the Love that we have been holding between us. We have changed in a thousand different ways until we started to doubt each other’s Love. I refuse to believe that that is the way it is supposed to go; I believe our changed selves only serve to remind us that we are also meant to evolve as a couple. So this I say to you: Do not think of my Love as old and tarnished, but constantly growing and renewing in its own midst. To this very day, I love you. I simply and truly do.

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